Ok. I am much better now and basically get back to work. During the medication and the resting period, I had some spare time for myself. Since I don’t want to work – and not really ready to work, I wanted to do somthing I didn’t do for the past years. I wanted to do some drawing and not the scientific illustration.
I drew some anime pencil sketches. Here are two of them, both from the anime ‘Fate / Stay night (命運/停駐之夜)’.
The first is Saber, I drew at the night before my surgery when I had some hard time to sleep.
The second is 凜, finished when I was resting at home.
It has been three weeks since my surgery to remove the tumor. Still a little painful, but I am getting better everyday. Last weekend was the opening of the new exhibition of TAI herbarium. I tried to squeeze out my left energy to prepare the exbition, but still I feel so unfinished. Thanks to Yen-po and all the helpers, otherwise it would have been a disaster. The wild vegetable exhibition also could not be done without Shumei. I actually feel bad that I did not do the job I could have done and promised.
It has been a while not posting anything here.
My life was so fed up with various of things for the last year. Not much time left for me to record and look back what I did. Also I have been tried avoid my deeper feelings since the death of my sister. She was struggling with lung cancer, and passed away last year. It cased a deep shadow in my mind because I was right at her side when she was gone, holding her hands. Watching life vanishing away as the numbers of pulse freq. and blood pressure.
It was a real shock for me, even though that we knew this is going to happen. The time I spent with my sister in the last four month I was with her, was like more than the total conversation we had in the last twenty years. To be honest, we were not that close when I was a child since she is 7 years older than me. We have different interests and perspective of life. I was in biological science and she was mostly in liberal arts sector. So there has been not much cross talks between us.
My sister knew she got lung cancer quite late, after she had a stoke nearly two years ago. But it was already in the final stage and the cancer cells had spread out to several organs, and did damages in her heads and bones. The gene therapy by the drug ‘Iressa’ succeeded for a short time, but it cannot stop further development of the cancer cells. And we finally lost her, forever.
It’s very difficult for me to put this, but it actually relieved some tension in my family with my sister’s death. She has always been the odd balls of my family, and she could not get along wih my father, I think since high school. She moved back to my parents’ house after the death of her husband. Years of switching jobs made my sister not having a stable income. Living with my parents might not be ideal, but was mostly the best solution at that time.
Anyway, it was tough for me to go through the last few months with my sister. So I have a mixed feeling for lung cancer. It reminds me of my sister.
Ironically, it is my turn now. Haunted or blessed, I am going to live with my lung cancer cells for the rest of my life.
I ran across an article on the internet recently. The article is about a statistics of proudness of the people for their country, and the result is is very interesting.
Original link: http://www.vox.com/2014/5/18/5724552/patriotism-pride-global-world
Look at the last country on the list – Taiwan. How sad it is.
最近網路上流傳了Apple的iPad Air廣告，引用「春風化雨」中所提Walt Whitman的詩句。覺得很不錯，記在這裡給自己。
O Me! O Life!
by Walt Whitman
Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.